Wisdom Teeth

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday (and so did my brother!). The doctors were so caring and sweet, they even wrapped me up in a comfy fleece blanket before the procedure... God knew I'd need them!

I started crying as soon as I left the waiting room, and kept crying despite the "laughing gas." It took a little edge off and the IV was not as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't count down from 100 and I woke up really confused-- I even think I was wimpering.

I've watched many chick-flicks, had pain medicine, and even enjoyed a special treat of a chocolate milk shake from Coldstone from Morgan. I've been desperately icing my face to prevent swelling and am ready to recover. I need to also add that I have the best mom in the world, she has been absolutely awesome!

I Get It

The church is the bride of Christ. This isn't new information. It's something that I thought I really "got." As a woman this is a concept (bride) that I've been fixated on since I was a little girl.

I tried my wedding dress on this weekend. Probably 5 times or so, to be exact. I can't wait for it to be January 2nd so I can carefully ready myself for that walk down the aisle. I am so excited about being beautiful, for myself and for Colin. On your wedding day you want to be the best version of yourself you can be! Without giving it away, my dress is white like snow and glitters in the right places. It's flattering to MY figure, and I don't desire to be a size smaller or bigger.

Today I understand a little more what it means to be ready. I want to be pure when I marry Colin. The best version of myself. I want to be close to Jesus because marriage is hard and I'm selfish. I know I need Jesus to be strong and complete when entering into marriage.

But more than that... I understand more what it means to be ready for Jesus coming back. I want my life to be clothing of dignity. I want my heart to be white like snow. I guess I'm a slow learner because it took my trying on a wedding dress 7 times before I listened to that whisper that said "this is what it's like." I know my thoughts are all over the place... it might not make a lot of sense. Or maybe it's remarkable it took me this long to finally get it. Either way, I'm thankful that God speaks to me and is using my relationship with Colin to teach me about himself. I know this isn't an overnight process but rather a mix of steps (just like my wedding)--day by day adorning myself with goodness and the things of God.

I get it!

Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Revelation 19:7

Good People

God's given me such joy through the community at Fellowship of Montgomery! What an amazing family with such excitement for growth. I'm glad Colin felt led to be on staff there. I know that Jesus is walking with us through this awesome season of fellowship with these precious people, how refreshing. I am especially thankful for the staff that have made us feel so at home. Dale, Kim, Brian, and Maridee are the real thing and it's fun to make new friends! I have felt so discouraged in finding a church but God always provides for me! He is so faithful.

PS. Colin and I are getting married in 200 days! He brought me the sweetest little bouquet of yellow flowers today... I love him.

The Way I See It #76

"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating-- in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational histation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."

--Anne Morriss
Starbucks customer from New York City. She describes herself as an "organization builder, restless American citizen, optimist."

Engaged!

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/daynawallen&colinbates

New Life in Spring

Life is sweet. Even on days like today, the middle of the week in Spring just waiting for Summer and change, there are moments of goodness.  Like right now I'm listening to the kind of music that's mellow in all the right ways, sitting in my living room with my roommates while the sun pours in through the sliding door.  Just finished a Diet Dr. Pepper that Colin brought me just because he's like that.  Realizing that God won't stop loving me because I'm moody and inconsistent. Knowing that life is full and that God is big and nothing can mess it up-- not death or tears or the unknown.  Knowing that everyone is a person with a heart and a story.  Sweet delicious lingering moments like this remind me not to worry and just to enjoy.  Happy Easter-- He is risen and alive!

Helpful or Heartless?

"It is Christ. . . who also makes intercession for us. . . the Spirit. . . makes intercession for the saints. . .  (Romans 8:34, 27)

'. . .Beware of getting ahead of God by your very desire to do His will. We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don't worship God, and we fail to intercede.  If a burden and its resulting pressure come upon us while we are not in an attitude of worship, it will only produce a hardness toward God and despair in our own souls. God continually introduces us to people in whom we have no interest, and unless we are worshiping God the natural tendency is to be heartless toward them.  We give them a quick verse of Scripture, like jabbing them with a spear, or leave them with a hurried, uncaring word of counsel before we go.  A heartless Christian must be a terrible grief to our Lord.

'Are our lives in the proper place so that we may participate in the intercession of our Lord and the Holy Spirit?"

-Chambers, Oswald. "Helpful or Heartless Toward Others?" April 1.  My Utmost for His Highest.

This slapped me in the face this morning.